Friday, March 4, 2011

Deep Thoughts, Scrambled Eggs, and Two Bears!

I'm not a big Three Things Thursday, or Two Things Tuesday, or Wazzzzup Wednesday guy, but in honor of no running today ... here are "5 Things On Friday" that make me smile, and have nothing to do with running ... 'cause it's a rest day!  (Not funny to you?  Well, I'm immature.)

1) Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey!  Here are some of my fav's ...
"If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them
down?  We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason."

"To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when
you walk around.  That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a
hand?"  You can say, "Sorry, got these sacks."

"If you're a cowboy and you're dragging a guy behind your horse, I bet
it would really make you mad if you looked back and the guy was reading
a magazine."

2) Maybe the funniest thing in the world to me would be two bears standing on the river bank arguing, and then out of nowhere, one bear kicks the other bear in the groin.

3) I know some of you read this on my wife's blog SLOWLY TRI-ING, but one time when we pulled in the garage after grocery shopping, I "accidentally" said something kinda mean to Michael.  As I got out of the car, I heard her reach in one of the bags, and then I felt 18 eggs pelt my back!  I turned around and looked at her like, "seriously?"  And then she said, with a straight face and an angry voice ...
"Hope you like 'em scrambled!"
We laughed about it and stopped arguing after that.  Ah, crazy kids!

4) I've gotta be one of only 5 people in the world who still have a flip phone.  This week I dropped one of my customer's calls because it snapped shut on me.  When I called him back and apologized, and explained the flip phone situation, he said, "A flip phone, who do you call on that thing ... Zack Morris?" 

5) In high school, my son Gage locked his keys in his car.  I was out of town on business and couldn't help him.  After several minutes of trying to break into his car, he got very frustrated and called a locksmith.  When the locksmith got there, he walked around to the other side of the car and asked, "Why didn't you reach in through this back window?" ... which had been rolled down the whole time. Kids ... Hilarious!

Hope you have a great weekend ... good luck to everyone running Detroit Runner Jeff's I Just Felt Like Running Virtual 5K on Saturday ... it should be fun!
... be great today!


  1. I have to stop and laugh at life. That is what we are here for.

  2. HAHAHAHA! I officially love your wife a little more after this post. Awesome.

  3. I gotta get me some sacks. That would be cool, to just walk around with random sacks. Wonder what I'd fill 'em with.

    The back window? Awesome. I bet you never tease him about that or anything...

  4. This is just what I needed to read to start my Friday morning off right. HILARIOUS!!

  5. These all made me crack up...out loud. I'm in the library and I got some very strange looks!

    I desperately needed a laugh, so thank you!

    Happy Friday! :)

  6. thanks for the giggles this a.m.

    my fave -
    "To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when
    you walk around. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a
    hand?" You can say, "Sorry, got these sacks."


  7. #2 made me laugh, I dont know what it is about getting hit in the groin humor, first we grimance and act like "somehow we are the ones that got hit" then we laugh, but we all know how painful it is and how funny it is not

  8. OMG Jim I am in tears.....

    This whole list is funny.

    Groins, eggs, zach morris.....hilarious.

    BTW - you are scheduled for tomorrow. Spread the word that you will be in light (well on my site anyway.)

  9. Thanks for the smiles.

    I'm one of those 5 people with a flip phone...gotta love the flip phone. Flip phone owners unite! (that kinda sounded too wonder twinish)

  10. My version of the egg story on my site was better....but still funny of course. You know I love Jack Handy. You crack me up babe.

  11. #3 - I think I am in love with your wife. That is awesome! (I'm catching up on blogs, so I look forward to reading her version!)

  12. Hahhahaha you are such a dork.
    What about the spear at the Olympics? =)
    P.S. I didn't know Michael did that to you! Quit withholding stories like that from me. Lol.
    Love you soooo much.
    Can't wait for our run tomorrow- FINALLY.

  13. I think you two should recreate the egg thing on video and upload to your repsective Blogs. Now THAT would be funny.

  14. haha, i miss jack handey!!!

  15. This totally cracked me up! Thanks for the laugh :-)

  16. Got to say the egg story when Michael told it was Hi-lar-e-ous!

  17. freaking

    Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey. pure awesomeness.

  18. I'm with you and not conforming to usual Three Things Thursday posts, haha I was considering doing something bar related - like 2 for 1 Tuesday, Wash It Down Wednesday and Thirsty Thursday, haha Wait, that might be just as bad as what I just derided above, anyways I digress =)

    and yea I'm shocked you have a flip phone, love the reference to Saved By the Bell!

    hilarious on the story about your son locking his keys in the car and having the back window be open, haha

  19. Ha! I like your sons story! and the egg one funny!


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