Saturday, July 9, 2011

Borderline Genius

I've often told Michael and my children that I think I might possibly be a creative genius.  And while I'm semi-serious ... they typically have to take a few minutes to recover from laughter.  Now, before you  go off thinking "Wow, that genius is a little arrogant!", hear me out.  I mean, geniuses often have random, mind wandering, deeply complex thoughts throughout the day ... which I do!  They also fear photographs of large sinking ships - which I do!!!  And Einstein was know to leave his house without pants ... heck, I do that for fun.

I drove a lot over the past two days and here are a few random thoughts that ran through my mind.  If they don't prove my genius status ... they surely validate my deeply complex mind.

1)   I think it would be funny if an antelope's last words after being caught by a cheetah were, "Hey, does your face hurt ... 'cause it's killin' me!" But maybe it's the claws that do the real damage.  We might never know.
2)   Why are all the burnt crackers in a box of saltines typically in one sleeve ... doesn't add up.
3)   If babies are so smart, why do they just sit there in their own poop?
4)   If I had to fight one food, it would be feta cheese.  But with gloves on ... no way I'm touchin' it.
5)   I think it would be funny if a soccer official faked an injury and then hopped right back up.
6)   Juice boxes really came on strong but seem to be losing a little steam.
7)   Ke$ha sucks.
8)   I seem to be pretty good at fantasy baseball, I wonder if there are other make believe sports I would like.
9)   Highway rest-stops with out-of-order restrooms are false advertising.  But you really feel like you have a unique bond with other travelers who got duped into stopping there too.
10) I always got really hungry when I played Candy Land.
11) Mt. Rushmore would be more important if they would have included the president's bodies.
12) The only foods that a plastic knife will cut are foods that I don't need a knife for.
13) Mile 17 of a marathon seems to get overlooked a lot.
14) How can I be a grandfather and still think I'm a teenager?
15) A streetlight that stays on all day clearly doesn't really "get" why he's even here.
16) Did Romans REALLY try to use "Roman Candles" as a functioning light source? Ha ... what idiots!
17) I wonder if some of these cars passing me are really Transformers?
18) If bacon wasn't so salty, it would really just taste like a football.
19) How can Kim Kardashian be so hot but so stupid?
20) There are way too many states that end in the letter "a".
21) I'll bet when no one is around, snakes are really good people and let other animals use them as jump ropes.

That's about it.
... be great today!

20 comments:

  1. OH my, genius OR fit for a straight jacket? HAHAHAHA!!! I'm still trying to decide. I kept reading those thinking that you A. Have a vivid imagination (much like myself) and B. You would be an excellent children's book author. Seriously.

    When my husband and I are bored, which can be often, I always like to start the conversation "what would we do if the sun never came up tomorrow?" and let me just say, it's almost like playing a board game.

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  2. Wow, Jim, you're a regular Jack Handy--deep thoughts, indeed. I'm particularly fond of:

    #3 Because I thought this many times when my kids were babies.

    #4 Because I love feta and my husband nearly gags every time he smells it. You guys should start a "We Hate Feta" club.

    #6 Gotta say though, they're still going strong over here at my house.

    #7 I don't know...I like most anything with a dollar sign in it.

    #11 That's why I've never visited. It just doesn't seem worth it for just the faces.

    and #21 I don't know, what can I say about this one? It just gives me a mental image I can laugh at.

    Good luck on your marathon this weekend!

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  3. Howdy boy!!!! Now THOSE were some good deep thoughts! I liked #5 and #7 and regarding #17...my 8 y/o son thinks about that a lot,too...and as his mother, I KNOW he has genius qualities, so you just might be on to something ;-)

    Go be genius this weekend!

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  4. Are we all geniuses...in our own minds? Thanks for confirming that!

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  5. Just found your blog, very inspiring!

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  6. you really have me thinking about other cars being transformers...

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  7. Genius!!!!

    Good luck tomorrow!

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  8. Love these deep thought...or random thinking...ha hah...Kim Kardashian..so true. And I think I'll wonder the same thing when I'm a grandma...I'll feel way too young.

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  9. wow, you really ARE a genius....

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  10. You are hilarious! !!

    I must be agenius too...
    I love listing my random running thoughts sometimes - running gives a great opportunity to process things.

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  11. Killer post. You have really embraced this whole write-about- random-stuff-and-not-your-training- approach. Didn't you used to give me crap about that?

    Loved #14!!!!! You are so wrong about #18. There are so many things right about bacon. You are a bacon hater Jim.

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  12. Hahaha funny post! Thanks for the shout out in the post below. You're so sweet and you inspire me too, Daddy, in every way. You're going to do AWESOME at your marathon this weekend. I can't wait to find out how it goes. Good luck (not like you need it). Be great tomorrow! =) Love you.

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  13. Oh dear. This marathon thing has gone to your head. Ha. Good luck tomorrow, Jim.

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  14. I guess genius is in the eye of the beholder ... or is that beauty? You must have done LOTS of driving lately.

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  15. I probably should have told you this by now. But I know all the secrets of the universe, and your car actually is a Transformer.

    Sweetie, just turn on the radio while driving from now on ok. All this thinking is too hard on you.

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  16. Still laughing at Michael's comment. :)

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  17. LOL!!!! Random thoughts are great!!

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  18. 19: really? why is she famous is the real question

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