Borderline Genius

I've often told Michael and my children that I think I might possibly be a creative genius.  And while I'm semi-serious ... they typically have to take a few minutes to recover from laughter.  Now, before you  go off thinking "Wow, that genius is a little arrogant!", hear me out.  I mean, geniuses often have random, mind wandering, deeply complex thoughts throughout the day ... which I do!  They also fear photographs of large sinking ships - which I do!!!  And Einstein was know to leave his house without pants ... heck, I do that for fun.

I drove a lot over the past two days and here are a few random thoughts that ran through my mind.  If they don't prove my genius status ... they surely validate my deeply complex mind.

1)   I think it would be funny if an antelope's last words after being caught by a cheetah were, "Hey, does your face hurt ... 'cause it's killin' me!" But maybe it's the claws that do the real damage.  We might never know.
2)   Why are all the burnt crackers in a box of saltines typically in one sleeve ... doesn't add up.
3)   If babies are so smart, why do they just sit there in their own poop?
4)   If I had to fight one food, it would be feta cheese.  But with gloves on ... no way I'm touchin' it.
5)   I think it would be funny if a soccer official faked an injury and then hopped right back up.
6)   Juice boxes really came on strong but seem to be losing a little steam.
7)   Ke$ha sucks.
8)   I seem to be pretty good at fantasy baseball, I wonder if there are other make believe sports I would like.
9)   Highway rest-stops with out-of-order restrooms are false advertising.  But you really feel like you have a unique bond with other travelers who got duped into stopping there too.
10) I always got really hungry when I played Candy Land.
11) Mt. Rushmore would be more important if they would have included the president's bodies.
12) The only foods that a plastic knife will cut are foods that I don't need a knife for.
13) Mile 17 of a marathon seems to get overlooked a lot.
14) How can I be a grandfather and still think I'm a teenager?
15) A streetlight that stays on all day clearly doesn't really "get" why he's even here.
16) Did Romans REALLY try to use "Roman Candles" as a functioning light source? Ha ... what idiots!
17) I wonder if some of these cars passing me are really Transformers?
18) If bacon wasn't so salty, it would really just taste like a football.
19) How can Kim Kardashian be so hot but so stupid?
20) There are way too many states that end in the letter "a".
21) I'll bet when no one is around, snakes are really good people and let other animals use them as jump ropes.

That's about it.
... be great today!