Thursday, March 27, 2014
Am I The Only Idiot That Hates Vacation?
Yes, I know that the following statements will put me in the bottom .00000001% of the population but ... I HATE VACATION!!! It's soooooo boring and drives me crazy after like 2 days. I mean, let's break this down and look at it as pragmatically as possible. All you do is sit in a chair, on the sand, staring at the water, in the middle of nowhere (often in a country with far inferior sanitation and infrastructure than your own) for like 327 straight hours, getting burnt to a crisp. Then, you pig out at the World's biggest buffet or whatever, with local cuisine that is sometimes a little sketchy, or else with every decadent treat known to man, and drink way too much alcohol. There's no cell phone service. Typically no internet. Very little, if any TV. And almost nothing to do except watch the waaaaay-too-affectionate-newly-weds coo'ing and gaga'ing over each other on the beach, while periodically disappearing, presumably a quick trip back to their room. And don't get me started on the cat-sized mosquitoes. All of this for a huge chunk of my savings I worked hard for all year!!!!
Nope - nope - nope! Not for me! I have no problem with my wonderful wife making the trip with a girlfriend. And I'm lucky enough to have a marriage where we both enjoy doing things on our own from time to time. So this week ... while she's soaking in her beloved overpriced rays on the beach ... I'll just be kickin' it at home. With plenty to keep me busy. For free. Boring old man - out!
... be great today!