Wednesday, November 19, 2014

How To Ruin Thanksgiving Day

Michael at the 2012 Ward Parkway Thanksgiving Day Run
Not sure is this is the JERK I'll be chasing next Thursday
A few years ago, Michael and I started a family tradition of running a 5K on Thanksgiving Day.  Our race of choice is the Ward Parkway Thanksgiving Day Run in Kansas City.  We have a blast and have even met Karli Ritter, our favorite morning TV meteorologist there a few times.  Plus this year, I think our niece, Ashley, is running it with us.

With the exception of two years ago, I usually just "jog" the race nice and easy and enjoy the day.  It's a good little light workout before stuffing my gut full of turkey and dressing.  In 2012, Michael "made me" run fast enough to win her a Turkey Medal, but other than that, it's a pleasant morning.  But this year things will probably be different.

Michael told me yesterday that there's something called a "Turkey Throw Down".  Basically, a dude in a Turkey Suit is going to run a 5K in 20:00.  If you beat him, you win a special award ... undoubtedly a shirt or koozie or something I don't need.  When Michael told me about it, I was like, "Oh, that's nice" with no intention of running hard because I'm not really in great shape right now.  But even though I was just minding my own business, just living my life ... that's when the mocking, and badgering, and ridiculing, and insults were piled on me.  Basically the same barrage I get from my lovely wife any time she's trying to shame me into doing something I don't want to do.  She was like, "Oh, well if you're too fat and out of shape and are going to let someone in a costume 'outman' you ... that's fine, no biggie!"  Ya know, the sort.  So unfortunately this year, I'll have to try to run it faster than a dumb turkey, just so I don't have to listen to that for three months.

The problem is this ... I SERIOUSLY don't know if I can run a 5K under 20 minutes right now.  When I'm in top shape, it wouldn't be a huge issue, but I have serious doubts if my legs can turn over that fast for three miles.  I think a 20:00 5K is about a 6:27 pace or so.  I did a six mile run this morning, with two middle miles at 6:29 & 6:20 ... but I stopped between each ... and they about friggin' killed me!  Plus, there are a couple of long hills on Ward Parkway.

Challenges like this are becoming more and more common in races.  And I think they target somewhat egotistical and over-achieving idiots like me.  Not because they want to reward hard work ... but rather, I think it's because they want to sit back at the finish line and laugh at all the dumb-dumbs that kill themselves and stumble across the finish line just for a stupid shirt or extra medal.

Inevitably after going all in a 5K, I feel like I'm gonna die for about an hour afterwards.  And then the rest of the day, my legs feel weak and wobbly.  I hate 5K's.  So thank you Turkey Throw Down for ruining my Thanksgiving this year.  Because, win or lose, you know I have to go for it.
... be great today!

22 comments:

  1. Good to see you posting again Jim. Yeah, you probably aren't as fast as you used to be, but don't let your pride get in the way of "being great today". You are an inspiration to all of us. Give it a go and see what happens. When the gun goes off, you may just surprise yourself. If not, you gave it all you have and you have a baseline / motivation to get back to where you were. Inevitably, we are all going to get slower; it just depends if you are going out with a whimper or with a roar.

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  2. you know that you are looking forward to the challenge... plus it's a great excuse to take a nap while your feast is being prepared.

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    1. Usually you'd be right Michael, but eh ... really don't know about this one

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  3. This is going to be really funny if you run like a 20:10 and the turkey holds you off at the finish.

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    1. Hahahaha - the visual of that is hilarious Randall

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  4. We are running this race, as well - our first time for this particular 5k…. Good luck on beating the turkey - better you than me! I'll be taking my time on this race, as I don't want to injure myself for my upcoming half. Speaking of halves - and challenges - the Longview Half had the "King/Queen of the Mountain" challenge last weekend - which was pretty cool…although some runners regretted later trying to run as fast as they could up a long hill at only Mile 2 of a 13.1-mile run! :)

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    1. Yeah Sherri, the Longview challenge was pretty cool, it didn't affect me as much as I thought it would though

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  5. You men - so easily manipulated for our pleasure. Who says we're the weaker sex?!

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    1. Um, not me ... I've NEVER said that ... well, physically yeah

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  6. I suffered a double whammy when I was beat by a Turkey pushing a stroller. The good part was I still beat "Flash" in a finish line sprint.

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    1. A turkey pushing a stroller would be awesome!

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  7. Good luck!

    I find pointless challenges to be some of the most motivating.

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    1. Yeah, I guess I need some motivation at times

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  8. But you aren't going to let the Turkey beat you, are you?! The funny thing is - you probably won't. When I squeaked in just under 20:00 at the CCC5k, it was because I HAD to. A challenge! I was (and am) in no shape to run a 20 min 5k, but I had to do it, so I did it. I bet you will, too.

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    1. You have waaaaay more confidence in me than I do Grace

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  9. Nice. Ive never done an official 5k. I more like the idea of just joggn it. But hey no slack from me pal. Have fun beatn the stupid turkey for a koozie. Lol

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    1. Ha, sadly I'll do a lot of things for a free koozie

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  10. ah!!!!!!! this sounds like it will be an interesting race day!
    I have a strong suspicion you wont let that turkey beat you.....if not for the sake of taking up the challenge,it will be for the sake of not wanting to never hearing the end of it from your awesome wife!!

    ill be cheering for you from the virtual sidelines! or maybe I can channel some of your speed since ill be racing at the same time as you! but a few states away of course
    : )

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    1. Melissa, you have no idea - all Michael has been doing all week is giving me grief about this race, ha

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    2. Also, email a way to view your blog sometime if you don't mind - I used to read it, but now I can't access it

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  11. The link is www.melissacunninghamifpapro.blogspot.com

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