|Michael at the 2012 Ward Parkway Thanksgiving Day Run|
Not sure is this is the JERK I'll be chasing next Thursday
With the exception of two years ago, I usually just "jog" the race nice and easy and enjoy the day. It's a good little light workout before stuffing my gut full of turkey and dressing. In 2012, Michael "made me" run fast enough to win her a Turkey Medal, but other than that, it's a pleasant morning. But this year things will probably be different.
Michael told me yesterday that there's something called a "Turkey Throw Down". Basically, a dude in a Turkey Suit is going to run a 5K in 20:00. If you beat him, you win a special award ... undoubtedly a shirt or koozie or something I don't need. When Michael told me about it, I was like, "Oh, that's nice" with no intention of running hard because I'm not really in great shape right now. But even though I was just minding my own business, just living my life ... that's when the mocking, and badgering, and ridiculing, and insults were piled on me. Basically the same barrage I get from my lovely wife any time she's trying to shame me into doing something I don't want to do. She was like, "Oh, well if you're too fat and out of shape and are going to let someone in a costume 'outman' you ... that's fine, no biggie!" Ya know, the sort. So unfortunately this year, I'll have to try to run it faster than a dumb turkey, just so I don't have to listen to that for three months.
The problem is this ... I SERIOUSLY don't know if I can run a 5K under 20 minutes right now. When I'm in top shape, it wouldn't be a huge issue, but I have serious doubts if my legs can turn over that fast for three miles. I think a 20:00 5K is about a 6:27 pace or so. I did a six mile run this morning, with two middle miles at 6:29 & 6:20 ... but I stopped between each ... and they about friggin' killed me! Plus, there are a couple of long hills on Ward Parkway.
Challenges like this are becoming more and more common in races. And I think they target somewhat egotistical and over-achieving idiots like me. Not because they want to reward hard work ... but rather, I think it's because they want to sit back at the finish line and laugh at all the dumb-dumbs that kill themselves and stumble across the finish line just for a stupid shirt or extra medal.
Inevitably after going all in a 5K, I feel like I'm gonna die for about an hour afterwards. And then the rest of the day, my legs feel weak and wobbly. I hate 5K's. So thank you Turkey Throw Down for ruining my Thanksgiving this year. Because, win or lose, you know I have to go for it.
... be great today!