Saturday, June 8, 2013

Why Tribute Bands Suck

There's a huge part of me that's fun-loving, crazy, hilarious, a joy to be around, and just an all around cool guy if I do say so myself.  But probably the biggest part of me is old, cranky, conservative, cynical, critical, and pretty grumpy.  This post will be written from the latter point of view.

Based on their HUGE popularity I'm obviously fairly alone in this but ... TRIBUTE BANDS SUCK!!!  Well, not really all Tribute Bands ... just the ones that go all out and dress up like the original people.  I mean, I have no problem with going to listen to a band play 80's hits, or even music from a specific hair band like Poison or Motley Crue.  But when a grown man who works every day as an electrician or plumber puts on a wig, tight pants, no shirt and begins to mimic Bret Michaels on stage ... um, yeah, that weirds me out.  It's like friggin' legalized Halloween all year!  Yes I'm grumpy.  Yes, of course my wife loves them.

It's just the whole dressing up thing that I find really odd.  I mean, most of society pokes fun at the folks who attend Star Trek & Star Wars Conventions dressed up like Cap'n Kirk or Chewbacca.  And local news stations only cover Comic Book Conventions so they can get some footage of a grown man in red tights and a cape imitating The Flash (who incidentally is very cool). So why does the Culture Club tribute band lead singer get a pass when he dons a makeup, eye shadow, and a skirt as a carbon copy of Boy George?  Is it just because he's sashaying around to Karma Chameleon and we all love that song?  Please.

Heck, as a boy I thought Evel Knievel was awesome!  I've got a great idea.  Maybe I'll just stroll into the grocery store in a red, white, and blue jump suit, yellow flamed driving gloves, tall sequined boots and a crash helmet.  I'm sure people will say, "What the heck are you doing?"  And from under the star-studded helmet with my shiny black face shield down, my muffled reply will be, "Mmmtime-annnd-fruit-aw-steeple-or-mmmid-evilll!"  Of course, they'll shrug, "Huh???"  At which point I'll take off the helmet and reply, "Oh sorry ... I said 'I'm a tribute to Evel Knievel!'"  Then I would line up some shopping carts, a few cases of pickles, and two boxes of cereal, and take a run at them on one of those scooters old people use.  I'd crash about two-thirds of the way over the top, but it would be awesome!  Yeah, that would go over really well.  No one would think that's nuts at all.

So my point is, sing all the Foreigner and Rolling Stones you want.  We all get it, you're a regular Jukebox Hero!  But for the love of Steve Perry, please just dress and look like a normal dude!!!  That being said, we're going to see a Journey Tribute Band tonight ... ha, I can't wait!

P.S. Just got back from the concert tonight ... it was pretty awesome.  Maybe I was wrong about Tribute Bands. Evel Knievel out!
... be great today! 


  1. Absolutely! Tribute bands are ridiculous! But my distaste is part of an overall loathing of "things pretending to be other things". For example, my husband bought tv antenna disguised in a picture frame. INFURIATING. Just make a sleek, elegant antenna. Don't be ashamed of your function! Coffee pots that look like ceramic teapots? Stupid! Just be a nice classic coffee pot! Bands that dress up as other bands? No! Just be yourself and cover other music well!

  2. I'm totally with you on the dress up thing as well as tribute bands. My younger sisters, who are all in their 40s, love to have dress up parties. They post the photos on Facebook and it always looks like a bunch of desperate middle aged people trying to relive their youth. I don't get it. But I guess they don't get why someone would get up before dawn to run for a couple of hours.

  3. Gracie/Char ... I think we're on the same page here.

  4. is it bad that I'm actually considering bringing my Wonder Woman shirt & socks to run Ragnar??? ;-D. Blow 'Steve Perry' a kiss for me ;)

  5. You have to check out Hairball on YouTube. They are the ultimate 80's tribute with costume changes and all.

  6. I'm old and grumpy enough to have zero interest in going to see a band period...

    but I'm down with the Evil K. idea


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