My Dumb Running Ideas

Yeah buddy, those are homemade arm warmers, and a Blue Steel stare

Having a blog is kind of a funny thing sometimes.  When people meet you, they sometimes respond as if they're meeting a celebrity. Which I am of course ... and I'll be happy to autograph anything besides body parts or shoes.  But mostly I'm pretty much just an average income Midwestern salesman who likes to write and run.  Oh, and pictures with me are fine too, but please don't interrupt my dinner, or touch me.

But another interesting thing about having a blog is sometimes readers think just because my info is on the "internets", I think it's some sort of training guide to great marathons.  And I've tried to be really clear about the fact that the information I post are simply ideas that have worked for me.  But for every, "Huh Jim, I never thought of it that way!", I've had some real clunkers too.  So instead of posting more little "secrets" to my training, I thought I post my 5 really dumb running and training things I've done.  Enjoy!

1.  Homemade Arm Warmers ... I like arm warmers.  I own about three pair.  Yes, I think they look dorky on guys, but I wear them anyway.  Sorry.  And the first time I ever put them on was at my first marathon in Little Rock.  They were homemade out of an old dry-fit shirt that I stitched together.  Yes, I stitched them together myself - impressive, I know.  But I got them a little too tight and they squeezed the circulation out of my arms ... AT MY  FIRST MARATHON!!!  Like I didn't have enough to worry about already that day.  I vividly remember thinking during the race, "Man, these things are killing my arms!"  But for some dumb reason, I left them on until about mile 22.  In the following days after the race, my legs of course hurt - but I distinctly remember my biceps and forearms aching for almost two weeks.

Exhausted at Wichita, my funniest race photo ever

2. 100 Mile Weeks ... Two years ago I got the bright idea that I was going to train like an elite marathoner.  Not at their speeds of course, but at the same mileage they log.  So for the first time, at age 43, I began running 85, 90, 95, & 100 mile weeks ... in one of the hottest summers we had in Kansas City in a while.  Brilliant!  So from June-September, I ran 85 or more weekly miles 12 different times in about 16 weeks.  Did it make me tougher, stronger, meaner, and ready for my Fall marathon?  Nope!  It just wore me out.  I was exhausted.  And to date, the Wichita Prairie Fire Marathon that year was still my biggest "fail" to date, partly because I went into it tired from training.  Lesson learned.

3. No Water During A Marathon ... At the 2009 Kansas City Marathon, I decided that I was going to save time by, get this ... not stopping for water!  Note to self - water is very important component in the human body. I was trying for my first Boston Qualifier and thought that I'd surely seen Olympic Marathons pass by the water tables without indulging, so I was going to give a whirl.  Well, that lasted until about Mile 20 when I began walking, and cramping.  Note to self - dehydration causes cramping.  I finished the race, dry to the bone, and about 26 minutes short of a BQ.  But I still contend to this day that if I'd stopped for water, I would have missed it by 27 minutes.

4. Ran A 5K In Costume ... I really don't care for Halloween.  For the most part I'm a self-proclaimed stick-in-the-mud grouchy old man who thinks adults that dress up are somewhat pathetic.  (Although this includes myself on several occasions, and my wife every year)  I think I've shared this story before, but one year,  Michael somehow talked me into dressing up with her as Bert & Ernie at a Halloween 5K.  And of course, she went all out and bought these huge foam heads.  We looked like friggin' Sesame Street On Ice ... with no skates or ice.  Sometimes I still just sit and shake my head with disgust and shame in myself when I think about it.  We didn't even win anything for the humiliation.  However, we did spend a large portion of the day acting somewhat obscene, kissing and making out all over the course with the costumes on, which of course was a

pretty funny visual.  I'm sure it confused some of the little kids who where there.  But it was probably time we forced their parents to get real about some things ... like why life-size puppets kiss.  But seriously, I still have substantial scarring from that day.

5. Pizza Before Every Long Run ... Pizza is simply the best food in the history of the world.  Fresh soft doughy delicious bread on the inside, crispy crust on the outside ... melted cheese running down your arm ... ground beef and pepperoni piled high ... with no sauce!  I could eat that every day of my life.  The problem is, I used to eat that before every single long run, and race.  Literally!  And while it seemed to supply somewhat adequate energy, it also really seemed to bog me down and make me feel sluggish.  Plus, I seemed to gain quite a bit of extra weight from downing a whole pizza by myself every Friday night.  Today I eat a lot better.  I'm probably what most people would consider a border-line health nut.  And while my running has reaped the benefits of a much lower fat diet, I sure do miss pizza all the time!

So there are a few of my really dumb running ideas.  Luckily, I seem to be self-aware enough that if it doesn't work after a while, I change it up and find something that does work.  So what about you?  Are there any really bad ideas in your past (related to running) that at the time, you thought were genius?  Have a great weekend!
... be great today!