Tuesday, November 4, 2014

That's What Burger Do!

I know ... sexy, right?  You know you love it!
The Kansas City Royals have an outfielder, Jarrod Dyson, who is one of the fastest players in baseball.  In fact, he shaved the word "ZOOM!" into the side of his head for the Playoffs and World Series.  In July of 2013, after his fleetness of foot directly influenced a game, the oft grammatically challenged Dyson commented, "That's what speed do!"  It instantly became a rallying cry for the team.

Until 2014, the Kansas City Royals had not made the Playoffs for 29 years.  29 years!  Literally a lifetime for some young adults!  It was longest non-Postseason drought by any professional North American sports team.  We were really bad for a really long time.  So when the 2014 Royals earned the right to play in a Wild Card elimination game against the Oakland Athletics, everyone in KC was Royals crazy.  Kansas City trailed 7-3 in the 8th inning of the game, with only six outs remaining in their season.  But they tied the game in the 9th, and later won the game 9-8 in the 12 inning in one of the most dramatic Playoff finishes ever.  When it was over, I was ecstatic, mentally and emotionally exhausted ... and starving!  Even though the game concluded somewhere around midnight, I decided to go out get a cheeseburger.  Mind you, I'm a borderline health food nut, but a greasy cheeseburger just seemed like the perfect celebration.  A few nights later, when the Royals won their first Division Series game against the Angels, and I was hungry again ... so I ate a second consecutive late night burger.

The problem with the second burger was that I'm a little superstitious about my sports.  And when the Royals won yet another game against the Angels, the very next night, making it three straight Playoff victories ... well, I felt compelled to retrieve and consume another burger.  Was this cheeseburger streak directly responsible for the Royals three-game winning streak ... we may never know.  But one thing's for sure, I didn't want to be the person responsible for screwing it up, and there was only one clear choice ... it was my duty to eat a cheeseburger after every Royals Postseason victory.

Believe me, after 29 years of waiting for the team you've lived and died with your whole life to make the Playoffs, you're happy just to be there.  No one in KC, or anywhere in the world could have predicted what happened next ... the Royals winning ... game, after game, after game, after game, after game!  The 2014 Kansas City Royals won eight straight Playoff games on their way to the World Series.  They literally went 8-0!  And while that was a record breaking accomplishment ... you guessed it, it meant drive-thru cheeseburgers ... late night, after late night, after late night!  In all, the Royals won 11 games total in October on their way to Game 7 of the World Series.  And I ate a cheeseburger after every one of them.  Sadly, the burger I wanted the most was burger number 12, which would have been for the World Championship.  But as most of you know, we came up short 3-2 to the San Francisco Giants in that last game.

So that's the burger story.  Of course combined with frequent early morning donuts, reoccurring root beer for some inexplicable reason, and the complete negligence of any form of running ... I gained a few pounds.  I promise that about two months ago, there was actual visual evidence of abdominal muscle existence.  However now, there seems to be only burger-residue remaining.  But alas ... after 29 years ... IT WAS FREAKING WORTH IT!   At least that's what I'm going to tell myself with each painful crunch over the next couple of months.  Because after all, "That's what burger do!"  GO ROYALS!!!
... be great today!

14 comments:

  1. My brother drank whiskey as his Royals superstition and I think he might've paid for that indulgence.

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    1. I had a lot of buddies that did that too Pandora, I think their Playoff run damaged a lot of livers, ha

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  2. It was an exciting series. I've never been much of a baseball fan but I married a California native who has been a big Giants fan his entire life. So now I've been sucked in! I must say KC is a great organization and showed a lot of class throughout the series. If they wouldn't have been playing the Giants we would have been rooting for them.

    I think most of us have our "burger" of choice. My weakness is definitely sweets- more specifically brownies and things like that. It's a daily struggle which I tend to lose from Oct- Jan...

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    1. The Giants are an amazing team, but I think everyone around here feels like we beat "the Giants", but couldn't get past one guy, Madison Bummgarner. If not for that "greasy-haired devil", we might be celebrating our second World Championship.

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  3. If it only happens once every 29 years I suppose it's forgiveable, So that will make you in your 70s next time you have to indulge. I'm guessing by then you'll be needing them puréed because some septuagenarians have problems with solid food. I think it's a denture thing.

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    1. Man, I hope it's not another 29 years, but we really don't have history on our side

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  4. Um. What does Michael think about this?
    Lauren Fleshman would be cool with it. I think she embraces the whole burger superstition. I know she embraces the positive-body-image-self-acceptance thing :)

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    1. Lauren's abs look mildly better than min right now, ha

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