Chapter 4 ... Frigid Betrayal
"His wobbly legs weakly trembled across the kitchen floor as his weary arms reached out for the long stainless steel refrigerator handle. He knew all too well what he would, or moreover, what would not be awaiting his exploration inside, but he had to try - for hope was all he had left.
Ah, the fridge. This used to be an oasis of late-night delight. A veritable plethora of delicious processed meats and left over savory turkey slices. "We had some good times old friend!", he reminisced to himself. But those days were gone. For even this 34 degree steel pantry had become a willing accomplice in his wife's dastardly plot.
As he cracked the seal on the 72 inch door, a false glimmer of hope danced in the back of his protein depleted and delirious mind in a feeble attempt to convince himself that this time it would be different. "Maybe a forgotten slice of ham!", "What about an old hotdog or a cold slice of meat-lovers pizza?", "Surely some bacon bits!" But as the hinged magnet billboard creaked open, it was just as he feared ... green everywhere! There was literally a garden growing on every shelf. He sighed and stumbled back to the couch desperately craving even the saltiest sliver of beef jerky to satisfy his carnivorous desires ... but not today friend - not never in this house."
EDITOR'S NOTE: Everyday innocent spouses everywhere are unwillingly victimized by their loved one's attempt to become healthier while consuming endless amounts of leafy products. In the blink of an eye, beloved beefy steaks and precious pork selections are banished from their home. Won't you help before it's too late!
Michael is REALLY enjoying HER time as a vegetarian. Send meat please.
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| Michael & Jack B. Weatherly |
Have a great Monday ... I'm off to hunt and consume some animal flesh!!! (Of course I'm kidding about all this ... sorta! No offense intended to all of my wonderful vegan friends!)
... be great today!
