Michael REEEEEALLY Wants Me To Run Fast!

FEAR The BEARD!!!

I'm kind of a knucklehead!  Not superstitious at all ... but occasionally I'll do something that I JUST KNOW will bring me good luck.  That being said, allow me to introduce you to The PR Beard!  Like hockey and baseball players during their Playoff and Championship runs, I've decided to grow a beard that WILL NOT BE SHAVED until I PR in a marathon.  

Even though a lot of people say it makes me look like Brad Pitt or DiCaprio, saddly, I'm not a good beard grower.  I have too much of a baby face.  Plus it's thin and red.  I kinda grow a Kid Rock splotchy mess that really looks horrible.  But you will FEAR The Beard!!!  If I had my way, I would grow a mountain man monster beard like Brian Wilson's of the San Francisco Giants.  A big long gnarly looking piece of art on the end of my chin.  But that would take me 73 years.  So I usually end up with something just a little better than a 10th grader ... or Chaz Bono.   

Is this grandstanding?  Maybe.  But this senseless self-serving pathetic move has served me well in races in the past.  Plus, MICHAEL HATES IT!!!  So that makes it even funnier to me ... I mean in a loving way!  I think even if I could grow a real beard she would hate it.  

This all started at my first marathon at Little Rock in 2009 (pictured right).  Yes, you could barely see the little guy on my face ... but it was there with me!  Just look at how intense I was ... Blue Steel baby!  All bui'ness with my face full of The PR Beard, sort of.  That day I ran my best marathon to that point!  Yes, I already told you it was my first ... you don't have to harp on it!  When I wanted to quit, The PR Beard told me to reach down deep inside and conquer the weakness and push through the pain.  I finished that first marathon for many reasons.  A personal goal.  My family.  But probably most of all ... for The PR Beard.

My Half Marathon PR came in 2010 in Kansas City (pictured left).  And you guessed it ... The PR Beard was right there with me! YES I KNOW YOU CAN BARELY SEE IT ... I GET IT, I DON'T GROW A GOOD BEARD!!!   But for your information many Jr. High boys would be proud to own it.  Just like me, The PR Beard does the best it can! I'm not the fastest dude in the race, and The PR Beard is not the fullest or best looking, but together we get the job done!

And finally there was Indy in 2010 (pictured right).  Not a PR, but I did run my second fastest marathon ever!  And if I do say so myself ... I had the second best beard in the race that day.  There was a guy in a Santa suit who out-bearded  me with long white whiskers.  But I'm not totally sure it was real. So my beard might have actually been the best, but who's to say.  It was cold in Indy that day, but ya know that thick lush rug on my face really kept me warm and made me run fast!

So yes Michael ... there is a reason for The PR Beard.  It's called manhood baby!  And it's a mission!  You might hate it.  You might make fun of me non stop.  And you might even make me sleep with one eye open so you don't shave it off.  But The PR Beard is real!  And it has spoken!  And you better pray that I run reeeeally fast at Tulsa next weekend.  'Cause this time, it ain't comin' off until I PR again.  And check it out ... if by some miracle I ever Boston Qualify again with it ... I'll probably just keep it forever!!!  FOR-EV-ER!!!  And slowly but surely, follicle by follicle ... you'll learn to love it like I do.  But if you can't love it ... you will honor it, and respect it, and you will FEAR THE BEARD!!! Seacrest out.

... be great today!  

One Of Those Weird Little Things...

What are some of the "Weird Little Things" you do when you run?

www.bvallc.com

Do you do anything that's out of the norm, or is just a little odd when you run?  Maybe it's something that's bad for your form, or that actually works against you.  I have one of those things ...

I squeeze on gel packs!  Yes I admit it ... I'm a two-pack-a-race squeezer!  It's a weird little habit I picked up somewhere, but for some reason it seems to release stress late in a race when I'm really trying to push the pace.  It's probably counterproductive to what I'm trying to do.  I mean, I think as runners we're supposed to keep our bodies as relaxed as possible ... but I squeeze and squeeze and squeeze. Having something to fiddle with in my hands seems to take my mind off of how bad my legs hurt, or how much I can't breath.  I think it's kin using a stress ball.  I usually end up using one or both of the gels, but until that time, I get them nicely massaged in tightly clenched fists.  Sometimes, I substitute gloves, but I really prefer gel packs.

The only other "not so weird, but kinda dumb" thing I do is ask people who are watching the marathon, "Have any girls passed me yet?"  I think it's funny, but the reaction I get is better.  Most people laugh, but some people reply very seriously, "Yeah, man ... quite a few!!!"

So what are some of the funny or weird little things you do?  Just curious!  Have a great week!
... be great today!

The Legend of Ol' Blue

Do you have a favorite running shirt?  I do.  It's my plain blue Nike technical tee.  I love it.  Yeah, I've had some good times and some pretty decent running success in Ol' Blue!

Ol' Blue and I running from some
"bad-trip" hippies after Woodstock

But the other day, The Unexpected Runner left this comment on a post ...
"... plus, we got to see a pic of you running in something OTHER than that blue shirt! Please tell me you own more than one of them ;)"

Blue and I raising the roof
in Istanbul

When Michael read this comment, it was like the funniest thing she had ever heard.  She laughed and said, "That's hilarious, someone called you out on wearing that stupid shirt all the time!"

Well laugh if you will everyone, but the fair amount of success Ol' Blue and I have shared together on the race course is just the beginning.  We've actually been through quite a bit together.

I first met Ol' Blue when I returned home from the war in 1945.  He was an out of work running shirt, and I was just a young runner looking for a garment I could depend on.  We entered a lifetime partnership right then and there.

Rushing Blue to the hospital
after a "green thread" reaction

In 1952 on a hunting expedition in Guam, we were attacked by a pack of wild dogs.  Admittedly, I had been warned not to wear Ol' Blue because wild dogs can only see one color ... you guessed it BLUE!  But like a stubborn fool I insisted.  We were sitting ducks out there in that field.  But Blue and I fought off those dogs like warriors that day.  Not a one of those mangy mutts were left standing!  And though a little tattered, Ol' Blue and I walked away with not only our skin ... but also respect and admiration for each other!

Me & Blue the day we helped free Mexico

Round about '71, Blue got mixed up in the whole Watergate scandal.  He had always had political aspirations and thought being a "staffer" on Nixon's crew was the ticket to the Oval Office himself.  When I couldn't convince him that no one would ever elect a running shirt as President, he did his own thing for a while.  I'm not sure how deep he was involved, but after the smoke cleared, we joined back up - Blue was a lot wiser from the experience.  To this day he doesn't talk much about it  ... but I've learned to just leave it alone.

From 1983-85, Blue and I decided we would try the pop scene.  You should have seen us - two young crazy guys out on the town.  Me with my Jerry-Curl, and Blue in his parachute pants.  Can you imagine ... a running shirt and parachute pants!  They just didn't work together. But you know what ... that crazy S.O.B. pulled it off!  And don't think the ladies didn't notice.  There was this halter top in 'Frisco that still has a piece of Ol' Blue's heart!

Like everyone, I suppose, Ol' Blue does have his demons. This is kinda personal, but I think never knowing his mother, the HV5 Champion Ski Jacket ... or his father, the Power Glide XL Warm Up Pants, has really taken it's toll.  Sometimes he'll get all dreamy-eyed and tell me how they both were official gear for the 1968 Olympics ... I'll just smile and say, "That's great Blue ... that's great".  We both know it's not true, but it gives the little guy a sense of purpose and being in this life.  And really, that's what we're all looking for.

One day I walked in on Blue watching "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants".  Now I'm not gonna judge him, but when I asked what he was doing, he just said, "Uh, oh I'm just flippin' through channels man!"  But there were a couple of tears near his collar ... I guess its just a clothes thing.  But why he was watching that movie to begin with is beyond me.  If I ever ask him about it, he'll just change the subject.

I could go on and on about the good times I've shared with Ol' Blue!  He's more than just a thin polyester-woven piece of athletic wear.  He's a friend.  A friend with a big heart and great personality!  Sure his moisture-wicking capabilities have slipped a little over the years, he's only human.  But I can't think of anyone else I would rather spend fall Saturdays on the race course with!  So yes Michael ... someone did "call me out" on this "stupid shirt".  But they also called me out on a great friendship and a wonderful companion ... Ol' Blue!

... But seriously, yeah I bought it 3 years ago and just like it.  No ... I only have one of them.  But I do wash it!  C'mon people ... a talking shirt?  Really?

Question of the day ... Do you wear the same thing for races or try to change it up a little?

Have you ever met a talking shirt?

... be great today!

Michael DQ'd Me???

The following is an 100% EXACT account of events & conversations that took place between my lovely wife Michael of Slowly Tri-Ing, and me over the past few days ...

Nice Michael ... with the ALWAYS NICE Jim!

Saturday ...
Michael - "Hey hunka-hunka burning man, what do  you think about running the MO COWBELL Half-Marathon in St. Louis with me in a few weeks?  We might even try to get Coy Martinez of First in Philly to run it with us!"

Jim - "Gee honey cakes, that sounds swell!  That's a really funny name for a race and the t-shirt looks cool, so just let me check my calendar and I'll let you know fo sho!"

Michael - "Perfect Sweet-ums, because I really wouldn't want to run this race without you by my side ... and furthermore do anything in life without you!"

Jim - "Awwwwwe, that's what all the people in my life have always said!"

Monday ...
Jim - (ring-ring, ring-ring) "Hey there Pumpkin-britches!  Listen, count me in for the MO COWB..."

Mean Michael! (Do you own any other ear rings?)

Michael - "Don't Pumpkin-britches me ... I'm running MO COWBELL with Coy!"

Jim - "Oh cool, that'll be fun to meet Coy and run a race with you gals!"

Michael - "Did you hear me? You're NOT INVITED ... it's a girls weekend!  No boys!  Don't ask me again!  Men suck!!!"

Jim - "But I thought it would be cool to meet Coy?  But I thought it would be fun to have a shirt that said MO COWBELL?  But ..."

Michael - "Bu-bu-bu-bu ... are you gonna cry about it??? I said NOOOOOOO!!!! You're uninvited! Not going! Not wanted! It's a girl's weekend!  Get it penis owner???"

Jim - (Thinking to myself) "... you're the one who's umm ... uninvited!!!"

Michael - "I heard that!!!"

So, as you can tell, I was quite unceremoniously disqualified from the MO COWBELL Half-Marathon before it even started!  If you don't read Coy's blog ... YOU MUST CHECK IT OUT!!!  Friggin' hilarious!!! (Michael's blog is pretty good too I guess) It would have been really cool to meet her & her husband, and chat about the Blue Grass State, horses, and Dick's Sporting Goods ... but I guess I'll just stay at home and rearrange furniture or something.  Have fun on your GURLS weekend! Sideways frowny face!
... be great today!

Really Michael???

Sometimes as little love-birds, Michael & I exchange sweet little texts back-n-forth during the day.  ALMOST ALWAYS initiated by me of course!!!  Things like "Love you sweetie!" ... "Hey sexy!" ... "What's for dinner?"  Here is a photo of my phone from our exchange today.  My comments are in yellow ...

If you're still interested ... this cruel, cruel woman is having a give-away at her blog for a gift card.  If you haven't already, you can sign up here ... Slowly Tri-ing. 
Seacrest out!
... be great today! (except for you Michael ... you TRY to be nice!)

Oh Michael, You and Your Tall Tales!

First of all ... thank you to all of you who still read my blog.  I have been crazy busy this summer and have not left many comments.  I've been reading from time-to-time ... but I've been pretty non comment-ish lately!  I'll try to do better.

I think I got really dehydrated yesterday.  I've been working in double runs lately ... one in the morning and one in the evening.  And I'm REALLY having trouble getting & keeping enough fluids in me.  This morning when I woke up, I could hardly keep my eyes open, which is not normal.  I skipped my ab work (mostly because I was running late), got dressed, and started my run - I had 12 scheduled.

I made it through the first mile - mostly with my eyes closed.  During the second mile, my legs began to feel like I was running in honey, and I was sweating more than usual.  We DID have about 93% humidity this morning, and I know that had something to do with it, but it really felt below average.  I was getting a little shaky and light-headed, and at the end of mile 2, I hit the wall ... like I've experienced only about 3 or 4 times before.  I walked all the way home and couldn't get enough food and fluids in me once I was there.

After that, I was tired all day and my energy level was really low.  I also only pee'd about 3 times, which is really low for me.  I tried to get a lot more fluids today and I'll try it again tomorrow.  Ankeny, Iowa is super flat so it should be an easy run!

As for the title of this blog, I ALWAYS appreciate all of the encouraging and supportive comments that everyone leaves.  But today, while scanning the ol' www, I noticed that many of you had turned on me while reading my wife, Michael's blog, Slowly Tri-ing (or something like that).  It seems as though many of you have mysteriously taken her side in her ridiculous account of what happened between us a few mornings ago.

I REALLY hate to throw her under the bus or air dirty family laundry, but y'all should know that Michael gets "a little crazy" with her stories sometimes.  For example, she will look you in the eye and tell you that she invented Fruit Loops.  Or that she once lived on the moon for a summer after college.  And that she won the Indy 500 in 1992, and that pirates stop by her office every Tuesday.  I mean, just stupid stuff that can't be backed up factually.  I love the girl like nobody's business, but are you really gonna put much faith in someone who SWEARS she was a member of 'N Sync???  C'mon man ... think about it!

I love you babe, but you KNOW that you NEVER killed a mountain lion with your bare hands ... it's just not true.  Time to come clean ... AND YOU CAN START BY CORRECTING YOUR "VERSION" OF OUR CONVERSATION THE OTHER MORNING!  Seacrest out!
... be great today!

Feel The Love!

"Only in his hometown, among his relatives and in his own house is a prophet without honor." - Mark 6:4

Similarly ...

"Only in his own house, by his wife, is a fairly decent marathoner not respected" - Jim 8/16/11

Me & super beautiful, awesome, smart, wonderful, lovely, better than me wife ... Michael!

 Here's a little scene from this morning's events at my house ...

The scenario: I've been up since 2:15am because I couldn't sleep ... but I'm in a REALLY great mood ... I just had a killer speed workout where I touched 5:30/mile pace for half mile stretches (my fastest ever) ... I come into the bathroom where my beautiful wife is getting ready ... and ACTION:

Me:  Hey beautiful ... wow, you look hotter than ever - is this heaven, 'cause there's an angel in my bathroom!
     Michael: (Silent ... no response and snarling a little)
Me: Awe sugar-baby ... what the heck is wrong ... is everything okay?
     Michael: (Silent ... no response and rolling her eyes)
Me: Wow, I had a great workout ... miles 5-8 were 6:36, 6:20, 6:24, 6:27 ... and best of all sweet-cheeks, I ran long portions of my run at a 5:30/mile pace!!!
     Michael: Wow ... that's amazing babe! (mixed with a little sarcasm)
Me: I'm just sayin', that's really fast for me!
     Michael:  Yeah, we get it ... you're awesome! (Now the sarcasm is obvious)
Me: I think if you go touch the sidewalk were I ran ... it's probably still warm!
     Michael: (Deep sigh ... gripping the curling iron a little harder now ... shaking her head)
Me: Did you work out this morning?
     Michael:  No I didn't!!! Is that okay with you??? It was planned because I have a swim tonight alright??? (detecting a little tension)
Me: Is it intimidating to live with a great athlete?
     Michael: You're an idiot ... when are you going out of town this week???

Clearly my improving running prowess is not appreciated in the A.M. in my house.  That's okay, I know when she says things like, "You're an 'idiot'" & "when are you going out of town this week?"  she really means, "Wow babe, you are one of the greatest athletes I've ever laid eyes on ... and I really aspire to be like you!  Please teach me the ways of running and how to master speed like you have!  I love you!"
... be great today!

Borderline Genius

I've often told Michael and my children that I think I might possibly be a creative genius.  And while I'm semi-serious ... they typically have to take a few minutes to recover from laughter.  Now, before you  go off thinking "Wow, that genius is a little arrogant!", hear me out.  I mean, geniuses often have random, mind wandering, deeply complex thoughts throughout the day ... which I do!  They also fear photographs of large sinking ships - which I do!!!  And Einstein was know to leave his house without pants ... heck, I do that for fun.

I drove a lot over the past two days and here are a few random thoughts that ran through my mind.  If they don't prove my genius status ... they surely validate my deeply complex mind.

1)   I think it would be funny if an antelope's last words after being caught by a cheetah were, "Hey, does your face hurt ... 'cause it's killin' me!" But maybe it's the claws that do the real damage.  We might never know.
2)   Why are all the burnt crackers in a box of saltines typically in one sleeve ... doesn't add up.
3)   If babies are so smart, why do they just sit there in their own poop?
4)   If I had to fight one food, it would be feta cheese.  But with gloves on ... no way I'm touchin' it.
5)   I think it would be funny if a soccer official faked an injury and then hopped right back up.
6)   Juice boxes really came on strong but seem to be losing a little steam.
7)   Ke$ha sucks.
8)   I seem to be pretty good at fantasy baseball, I wonder if there are other make believe sports I would like.
9)   Highway rest-stops with out-of-order restrooms are false advertising.  But you really feel like you have a unique bond with other travelers who got duped into stopping there too.
10) I always got really hungry when I played Candy Land.
11) Mt. Rushmore would be more important if they would have included the president's bodies.
12) The only foods that a plastic knife will cut are foods that I don't need a knife for.
13) Mile 17 of a marathon seems to get overlooked a lot.
14) How can I be a grandfather and still think I'm a teenager?
15) A streetlight that stays on all day clearly doesn't really "get" why he's even here.
16) Did Romans REALLY try to use "Roman Candles" as a functioning light source? Ha ... what idiots!
17) I wonder if some of these cars passing me are really Transformers?
18) If bacon wasn't so salty, it would really just taste like a football.
19) How can Kim Kardashian be so hot but so stupid?
20) There are way too many states that end in the letter "a".
21) I'll bet when no one is around, snakes are really good people and let other animals use them as jump ropes.

That's about it.
... be great today!

Country Music Makes You Run Fast!

I'm an iPod runner.  Sorry to all of the "you're disgracing the sport of running by listen to music while doing something that's no one else's business" people.  And as many of you know, I listen mostly to hard, angry, blood-pumping, screaming "music" the whole time I trot along.  But I was raised on country and it's really my favorite!

But if you really wanna meet a country music fan, you need look no further than my wife Michael, of Slowly Tri-Ing.  Man, she can't get enough country music.  The yee-haw!  The steel guitar!  The twang!  It's all in her blood.  Why just the other day she was humming her new favorite country song ...

You be my Lou'siana,  I’ll be your Mississippi
You be my little Loretta, I’ll be your Conway Twitty
You be my sugar baby, I’ll be your sweet iced tea
You be my honeysuckle, I’ll be your honey bee

Yeah that girl loves everything country ... mud flaps, shot guns, hound dogs, & Walker Texas Ranger!  Cowgirl Up sweetie!
... be great today! (the contents of this post may not accurately depict Michael's views on country music)

... And That's When The Authorities Showed Up!

It's kinda strange to me how as a 42 year old, below average looking dude - people continually stop and stare as I run by.  I mean I do have nice legs and a sensitive spirit ... but why stop and stare as if you'd just seen one bear kick another bear in the groin on a river bank? (As many of you know, to me that's the funniest thing anyone could ever witness ... I hope to see it one day!)



Take yesterday morning for example (which has happened a handful of times over the years).  I'm on the road at approx 4:30am and a friendly police officer slows down, leans over to the passenger window, and watches as I run by.  I thought for a minute he was gonna fire up the cherries and "pull me over".  Then he circles around, drives up a street and sits and waits for me go run by again.  THEN, he does the same thing another block down???

Don't get me wrong, I love cops, but was there an A.P.B on jogger-robbers in the neighborhood last night?  Have we recently been hit by Garmin-wearin' bandits that I'm unaware of?  Is it common in KC for burglars to dress in running shorts and technical tees on a 45 degree morning ... and haul their loot down the middle of the street as they make their fleet-footed get-away?



If I was a hot young cutie or something, I kinda get it ... but seriously "NOTHING TO SEE HERE ... MOVE ALONG".  But in fairness to the officer I was running in a ski-mask, a bag with a giant "$" sign, a rappelling rope, and the combination to several safes ... so I understand,  I guess?
... be great today! 

Running Confessions Of This Dumb-Dumb!

Everyone is typically soooo kind with their comments in the bloggo-world.  Take for example this weekend ... I usually don't write negative or "venting" type posts, but I had something on Saturday I had to get off of my chest.  Y'all ran to the rescue and supported me with "yeah, that's right's" and "we feel ya man's" ... pretty cool!

But based on some of your comments, some of you also seem to think that because I run like a thousand miles a week, and ran fast enough ONCE to make it to Boston, that I am some sort of running authority or something ... BUT YOU COULDN'T BE MORE WRONG!!!  I constantly commit running faux pas!  Here are a few of my most note worthy ...

• From 2006-2008 I ran with size 10-1/2 shoes because I thought they would make me lighter and faster (my foot is an 11-1/2 to 12!)   Result ... a two year case of Morton's Neuroma! Brilliant!!!

My actual foot and shoes!

• I read an article once that denounced stretching for runners ... so I thought I would test the theory.  I didn't stretch for about a 6 month period before or after running.  Result ... my only real bout with ITB pain that lasted about 2 months and drastically affected my Kentucky Derby Festival Marathon!  Smooth!!!

Even babies know they should stretch ... and they're stupid!

• I run comfortably at 7:30-8:00/miles, but in my first marathon, The 2009 Little Rock Marathon, I ran my first mile at 6:30 and my second at 6:59 ... ummm, I hit the wall at mile 14! Very well thought out!!!

Reenactment of 1st two miles of Little Rock

• I tried to run the 2009 Kansas City Marathon without ANY WATER!  I had read that some elite athletes have tried it ... so genius here thought he would too ... crashed at 22 with cramps!  Result ... bought a CamelBak! Soooooo smart!!!

Water ... wat...

• I didn't know that the tradition with the girls of Wellesley College at Boston was to KISS THEM for good luck ... I thought it was the other way around.  When I ran through the scream tunnel, I motioned to one of the young ladies and pointed to my cheek as if to say "Kiss me here!"  She literally dropped her sign, put her hands up, turned red, covered her mouth and laughingly screamed, "Noooooo!"  The two runners behind me died laughing ... I just pulled my hat down and ran faster!  Nice one PERV!!!

Wheeeeeeew ... KISS ME!!! (Unless you're a 42 year old perv!!!)



So as you can see, I am still VERY MUCH a work in progress as far as running goes.  I was thinking about carrying a baton and marching like a drum major for the first two miles of this weekend's marathon ... I've heard it really helps with high knee kicks!  Any ideas?
... be great today!

Ever Forget About Your Race Bib?

Have you ever had to run a few errands after a 5K or something and forgot that you still had your race bib on?  Well, someone in our family did that today! 

The lady of the house ran the Kansas City Corporate Challenge 5K this morning and we stopped by the grocery store afterwards.  When we walked in, an old man said, "Hey, how'd you do in the race?"  Michael looked kinda proud for a moment - she must have been thinking, "This guy just automatically knows I came from a race ... WOW, I must REALLY look like a runner!!!"  The guy then pointed to her bib, at which she replied ... "Oh ... yeah, I did okay." (game show losing sound effect ... wa, wa, waaaaaaa!)

We of course reenacted the 5K finish by the pork chops!

A beautiful girl ... still wearing her race bib!  She'll probably sleep in it tonight!

By the way, PLEASE CHECK OUT MICHAEL's BLOG!!!  She is trying to get 100 followers and has promised the GIVE AWAY of all GIVE AWAYS once she reaches 100 peeps.  If you don't follower her, just know that she is way more interesting and funny than me (she told me to say that), and much more pleasing to look at (she didn't have to tell me to say that, it's pretty obvious!)  Click on the link below to go to her blog - Slowly Tri-ing!



I love you sweetie - you make me laugh!
... be great today!

Kovas v. Chris K ... 35 y/o, Ask A Doctor???

On Wednesday I bought a new Ab Wheel from Dick's Sporting Goods.
( _ _ _Coy insert joke here _ _ _ ) 
It works pretty well, but what concerned me were the instructions that came with the wheel!

Huh?????????????????

Notice the "ESPECIALLY TRUE IF YOU ARE OVER THE AGE OF 35"???  Can you imagine that doctor's appointment? (for this illustration we'll imagine I was ACTUALLY at the doctor's office) 

Me: "Hi doc ... I just bought a new wheel, but I'm 42 ... can I still use it?"

Doctor:  "Well studies show that wheels have been known to cause limb detachment & fatality, so I would say no!"

Me: "Yeah, but I run all the time and I'm in decent shape."

Doctor: "I know, but it's a circle on a stick ... you're literally playing with fire man.  I'm gonna suggest you try something a little more mild like a triangle or something ... that'll be $30 please!"

I think I'll take my chances with it ... wish  me luck!

So here I am today, just lookin' over the comments on my last post ... and all of the sudden, I discover I'm the venue for Kovas v. Chris K part Deux!  (Caroline, that's French for "two" right?) I am so honored!  Here's how it went ...

"The" Kovas

Kovas: There's a new school of thought that maybe fat-loading before an endurance event might work, with some minimal carbo-loading just before the event to top off the tank. In either case, the pasta dinner should be eaten at least two nights before, from what I've read.

Chris K: I am the King of Bonking and have played around with this alot. Obviously, this works for you. I "carbo load" way more than you do. I start earlier, eat less protein bars, and generally more carbs. Not good, bad, right, or wrong, just what I have to do to stave off my bonk.

Okay, do you take requests from Dudes or just cute and funny women like Coy? I am requesting your formula for nutrition during your race

Chris K (again immediately after): As for Kovas, don't listen to him. (Uht-oh, now you've done it!)

Kovas: If you want old-school thinking, take advice from a guy in a toga.

Chris K: New fangled trendy fads usually have staying power. Kovas is probably right.

Super BQ'er Chris K

Now I've gotta say these two dudes are maybe my two favorite reads.  Kovas is brilliant ... one of the brightest minds in the blog world.  And Chris K is one of the most hilarious guys I've read. Many of you remember their back-and-forth exchange last January - CLASSIC!  So here's to hoping this is the next chapter in their outwitting each other.  Feel free to use this as a stage fellas ... the floor is yours!

... be great today! (but if you start trading verbal punches, be greatly funny!)



Interview with Slowly Tri-ing ... Sort of???

Following is an interview I conducted with Michael from Slowly Tri-ing (psssst, only one of us knew about the interview...)

50a40 ... How did you get into Triathlons?
Michael of Slowly Tri-ing ... Well I think it started when I saw this super hot VERY YOUNG looking 42 year old running down the road.  I started running ... but only to try and catch him!  One thing led to another.

50a40 ... What's your favorite thing about your husband Jim of 50after40?
Michael ... Well, believe it or not - he's ALWAYS RIGHT!  Yeah, I've never seen anything like it ... I usually just defer to him on everything.

50a40 ... Why do you talk so much on your blog about Bradley Cooper, Matthew McConaughey, and that little guy from Maroon 5?
Michael ... Oh that's easy, I only write about guys who are not as "smokin" as my hubby!  Sure he's a freckly, big-eared, thin haired fellow ... but I find that sooooooo sexy!

50a40 ... Why do you make your husband dress up in Halloween costumes?  Don't you think that humiliates him?
Michael ... Ha, yes! He complains about it the whole time and dreads it for a month before, but I think deep down he loves it!

50a40 ... It seems at times you love your dog more than Jim?
Michael ... I do.

50a40 ... Do you ever get tired of  making him watch TV fashion programs?
Michael ... Oh no, his favorite is that wedding dress one! And speaking of fashion, we can all learn so much from his wide range of blue jeans, running shoes, and grey t-shirts.  It speaks to his inner couture.

50a40 ... Anything you would change about your life?
Michael ... Only that I would tell my husband he is the "biggest stud ever" more often.  And watch more baseball and eat more bar-b-que with him!  Other than that, just standing near him and basking in his glow is plenty for me ... I'm soooooo lucky!

Wow, what a telling interview.   Thanks for all the kind words babe.  After all these years you really are still enamoured with me ... that means a lot.  I love you too! (I think this goes without saying, but I totally made this up ... but I'm sure this is exactly how she would answer!!!)
... be great today!

The Accidental Vegetarian

Here is an excerpt from my upcoming best seller (Jason, I'll sign a copy for you if you want)...

Chapter 4 ... Frigid Betrayal
"His wobbly legs weakly trembled across the kitchen floor as his weary arms reached out for the long stainless steel refrigerator handle.  He knew all too well what he would, or moreover, what would not be awaiting his exploration inside, but he had to try - for hope was all he had left. 

Ah, the fridge.  This used to be an oasis of late-night delight.  A veritable plethora of delicious processed meats and left over savory turkey slices.  "We had some good times old friend!", he reminisced to himself.  But those days were gone.  For even this 34 degree steel pantry had become a willing accomplice in his wife's dastardly plot.

As he cracked the seal on the 72 inch door, a false glimmer of hope danced in the back of his protein depleted and delirious mind in a feeble attempt to convince himself that this time it would be different.  "Maybe a forgotten slice of ham!", "What about an old hotdog or a cold slice of meat-lovers pizza?", "Surely some bacon bits!"  But as the hinged magnet billboard creaked open, it was just as he feared ... green everywhere!  There was literally a garden growing on every shelf.  He sighed and stumbled back to the couch desperately craving even the saltiest sliver of beef jerky to satisfy his carnivorous desires ... but not today friend - not never in this house." 

EDITOR'S NOTE: Everyday innocent spouses everywhere are unwillingly victimized by their loved one's attempt to become healthier while consuming endless amounts of leafy products.  In the blink of an eye, beloved beefy steaks and precious pork selections are banished from their home.  Won't you help before it's too late!

Michael is REALLY enjoying HER time as a vegetarian.  Send meat please.

Speaking of Michael, we had a great time this weekend at the Westport St. Patty's Day Race in KC, MO (although I'm certain I was completely energy depleted).  We ran the race together, and even though she is going through quite a bit of back pain right now, she powered through it and did a great job!  She had a great wrap-up of the race here on her blog Slowly Tri-ing!  Check out her great costume!

Michael & Jack B. Weatherly

After the 4 mile race, I ran another 7 miles with my daughter Madison.  We had a great time and this "kid" (she's 20) ran her last mile at 9:30, and her last quarter mile at a 7:30 pace!  Awesome!  We are running the Oklahoma City Half-Marathon in May and she will totally rock it!

Have a great Monday ... I'm off to hunt and consume some animal flesh!!!  (Of course I'm kidding about all this ... sorta!  No offense intended to all of my wonderful vegan friends!)
... be great today!

Deep Thoughts, Scrambled Eggs, and Two Bears!

I'm not a big Three Things Thursday, or Two Things Tuesday, or Wazzzzup Wednesday guy, but in honor of no running today ... here are "5 Things On Friday" that make me smile, and have nothing to do with running ... 'cause it's a rest day!  (Not funny to you?  Well, I'm immature.)

1) Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey!  Here are some of my fav's ...

"If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them
down?  We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason."

"To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when
you walk around.  That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a
hand?"  You can say, "Sorry, got these sacks."

"If you're a cowboy and you're dragging a guy behind your horse, I bet
it would really make you mad if you looked back and the guy was reading
a magazine."

2) Maybe the funniest thing in the world to me would be two bears standing on the river bank arguing, and then out of nowhere, one bear kicks the other bear in the groin.

3) I know some of you read this on my wife's blog SLOWLY TRI-ING, but one time when we pulled in the garage after grocery shopping, I "accidentally" said something kinda mean to Michael.  As I got out of the car, I heard her reach in one of the bags, and then I felt 18 eggs pelt my back!  I turned around and looked at her like, "seriously?"  And then she said, with a straight face and an angry voice ...

"Hope you like 'em scrambled!"

We laughed about it and stopped arguing after that.  Ah, crazy kids!

4) I've gotta be one of only 5 people in the world who still have a flip phone.  This week I dropped one of my customer's calls because it snapped shut on me.  When I called him back and apologized, and explained the flip phone situation, he said, "A flip phone, who do you call on that thing ... Zack Morris?" 

5) In high school, my son Gage locked his keys in his car.  I was out of town on business and couldn't help him.  After several minutes of trying to break into his car, he got very frustrated and called a locksmith.  When the locksmith got there, he walked around to the other side of the car and asked, "Why didn't you reach in through this back window?" ... which had been rolled down the whole time. Kids ... Hilarious!

Hope you have a great weekend ... good luck to everyone running Detroit Runner Jeff's I Just Felt Like Running Virtual 5K on Saturday ... it should be fun!
... be great today!

Mistaken Identity

Funny moment this weekend ...
As I came up the final hill in the Austin Marathon over the weekend at mile 25.5, I was breezing by runners right and left.  I had never experienced so much energy that late in a race, and honestly, I felt like I could have ran 5 or 6 more miles after it was over.  I ran my last mile at a 7:18 pace, my fastest mile of the marathon! 

The crowds were beginning to thicken toward the end, and a huge group of Texas Longhorn-clad college girls were waiting at the top of the hill.  As I got closer, their cheers became louder and louder.  I thought to myself, "Yeah, the old man's still got it!  Man, I must be lookin' good ... these southern gals don't even realize that I'm 42!"  I passed them proudly, rockin' my best "Cool Guy" imitation! 

But as I made my way past them, the cheering didn't die down, in fact it increased to a deafening scream.  I looked back over my shoulder, and about 20 yards behind me was a young college-age runner dressed in Texas Longhorn burnt orange from head to toe!  Just then, all of them started shouting, "C'mon Josh, you can do it!"  Man ... they weren't cheering for me at all ... they were there to see JOSH! 

I just laughed to myself and kept chuggin' away ... Oh, and young Josh never passed me!  No way I was gonna let this kid half my age who just stole MY personal co-ed cheering section get the last laugh!  Go Longhorns ... and go Josh 42 year old runners!
... be great today!

Everything is HAIRY!

     "Just wanted to stop by to say good luck this weekend. Also, wanted to say thanks. I used your
      blog mantra....be great today at the half in New Orleans last Sunday. It really helped me through
      the race. I kept telling myself, "the weather is great, I really have NO reason, NOT "to be Great
      Today." (and I was great in my own slowish way) Thanks!"  - Happy Feet 26.2

Thank you for the kind words Ginny!  Congrats on the great race, and "your welcome".  You have no idea how much that means to me.  Believe it or not, you just helped me through my next race! (P.S. if you don't already, please follow Happy Feet 26.2 ... its a great read that I really enjoy, and you will too!)

Do you have a dog, cat, hamster, or mountain lion?  We live with Jack.  He's a pretty cool 4 year old chocolate lab ... and the apple his "mommy's" eye! (Michael ... who's not his biological mother of course, 'cause she's a human.)  But right now Jack is shedding like a banshee!  He's losing his thick winter coat and there are piles of dog hair on everything we own.  Pillows.  Rugs.  Shirts.  Toothbrushes ... don't ask.

Jack B. Weatherly

Within 5 minutes of running the vacuum, Jack's at it again.  Leaving furry follicle impressions of his brown-butt everywhere he goes.  It's easy to trace his footsteps.  Like he's sayin',
"Jack B. Weatherly in da house!"

Running has left several impressions on me as well.  I'm thinner.  My legs are muscly.  And my lungs have morphed into two big balloons.  But it's not just physical.  For one thing, I'm more self-assured.  Not in a cocky way ... millions of people can out-run me, and it has nothing to do with speed or a clock.  But self-assured in a way that I believe I can do anything I set my mind to.  I'm also so thankful and appreciative of my good health.  Plus, the perseverance and patience running has shown me is priceless.  It's helped me better understand to never give up because I know "after I get over this hill, it gets a little easier".

Ryder & me

But often I wonder what kind of impression I am leaving on those around me.  Not necessarily a legacy ... I have an awesome family that loves me, and they will carry my legacy.  But how did I affect people around me on a daily basis?  Are my finger-prints easy to trace?  Is there a positive reminder that I was here?

I want to be a runner that sets a standard that others can mimic to become stronger, and helps them find true joy in the sport regardless of finishing time?  But more than anything, I want to be an encouragement to others.  As a stranger, do I offer a kind word or smile ... that leaves you thinking, "Man, that guy was nice"?  As a friend, am I someone you can call in the middle of the night?  As a father, am I full of love and forgiveness?  As a husband, am I the closest companion?  And as a leader, am I worthy of joining on the journey?

I hope I'm growing daily in all of these things.  Becoming more encouraging and less critical.  And offering a little hope when someone needs it most.  I've been blessed with so much, and there is no way I can keep it all to myself. 

Thank you to everyone who has stopped by and read my daily ramblings over the past few months.  All of the kind words are very humbling, and uplifting!  Hopefully today, you will leave an impression of your own personal greatness on someone.  Just like Jack leaves everything he touches really hairy, I hope that every life I have the opportunity to touch is changed ... for the better.
... be great today!

Stylish Blogger ... parte dos

I'm not sure if this is Blogger PC, but I was honored a second time with the Stylish Blogger Award!  This time by one of my favorite reads, Regan's Ruminations!  Regan is so refreshingly open and honest about her successes, challenges, and life experiences.  You should REALLY check out her blog!

If you're not familiar with how this works, here are da rules:
Make this a post and link back to the person who gave the award to you
Share 7 things about yourself
Award 5 great bloggers
Contact the bloggers and tell them they've won

Here goes...I'll make it quick!
1) One time in Jr. High, I casually threw a rock into the 10pm dark sky and accidentally hit my friend Walter Sewell in the head from about 40 yards away!  Gave him a pretty good sized goose-egg.  He was pretty hot about it!  I thought it was an amazing shot.

2) A bird pooped on my shoulder on my first date.  No kidding!

3) I want abs like EMZ ("the situation"), but I would give a year's salary to never do ab & core work again.

4) I'm secretly jealous of Kovas' beard-growing ability - mine is a pube-stache/Kid Rock hybrid ... ugggggggly!

5) I love Kid Rock ... sue me!

6) I've worn the same bracelet for over two years ... my daughter made it for my first marathon, and I haven't taken it off since.

7) My two favorite greatest hits albums are George Strait & Eddie Rabbitt.

It seems the ol' Stylish Blogger has made a couple of rounds now ... so in lieu of nominating anyone else, please go to one of your favorite follower's pages and leave a comment on why you enjoy their blog!  Maybe tell them they dress nice or something! 

Oops well, okay just one plug ... please check out my wife's new blog ............................. Slowly Tri-ing!   Michael's a Triathlon stud-ette and a lot smarter and funnier than me.  You will enjoy her page.  Tell em' Leroy sent cha!  Have a good one!
... be great today!

Simple Reward

"When you have completed 95 percent of your journey, you are only halfway there."   - Japanese Proverb

Man, the guy who first said that must have been like, "Yoka namae wa nan desu ka!" ... but he must have also been eluding to the marathon!  Several people have asked me what my finishing time will be at the Austin Marathon next week.  Will I BQ again?  Will it be in the 3:30's?  Will I have to crawl to the finish line?

Nope.
Doubt it.
Maybe. 

The truth is, I'm just not feelin' the ol' 26.2 this time for some reason ... but I can tell you in all sincerity, that's okay!  It's not that I don't care, or am admitting defeat.  It's just that I am slowly but surely beginning to look at this whole running thing in a different light.

My training times have been up and down lately.  I've really battled dead-legs (I know, I know, over-training). The weather has been bad and worse.  And hills seem to be freaking me out ... more than usual.  I just don't know that I have a fast race in me this time.  But that's simply okay!  "Fast" is all relative anyway.

Why this serenity from "Ultra competitive-to-a-fault Jim"?  I dunno!  But the typical sense of urgency I feel a week before a race is just not diggin' into me like it usually does.  Maybe it's because a BQ is already under my belt and I'm a little unmotivated.  'Could be the tough course in Austin scaring me a little. Or maybe I've just accepted that it's impossible for me to run my best race in the winter.  But whatever the reason, I have a genuine peace with just being able to run a comfortable, manageable race.

As I sit here watching American Idol (yeah, I watch ... so, I admit it), I can't help but think about all these kids who are competing.  Almost all of them are heart-broken when they're eliminated, and it got me thinking ... did they enjoy the journey?  Did they love the hours of practice?  Did they cherish the once in a life time trip to Hollywood?  Or did they simply base everything on the success of their journey?  If so...wow, what pressure. If that's the case, only one person is going to be satisfied at the end.

I ask Michael (and myself) all the time, "If there were no races, triathlons, or clocks ... would you still run & train?"  Now I can't speak for her or anyone else, but as for me ... the answer is an emphatic YES!!!

I AM many things.  Christian.  Father.  Husband.  Good co-worker.  Wanna-be comedian.  These are some of the principle identities that define who I am.  But I am also a RUNNER!  I run when the thermometer says 0 or 100.  I run when my quads are sore.  I run when I'm sleepy or when I'm full of energy.  I run, and then I run again ... and I enjoy every step of it.  Heck, I would even run if a mountain lion was chasing me.

Running has given me so many things ... self-confidence, a healthy life, and much more will-power and perseverance to name a few.  But I think more than anything, it has given me the ability to be thankful and appreciate many of life's small joys along the way like never before.  Here's a few ...

- I'm thankful that I can run, or even walk ... a lot of folks can't
- I'm love that my family & friends make me feel special just for having the courage to try
- I've only completed 8 marathons, but I've already experienced a lot of new places
- My daughter now runs with me
- My son is proud of me, but getting him to admit it might be a chore
- I helped nudge my wife into Triathlons, though she probably won't admit it
- I've made new running friends, both in "real life" and in this very supportive blog world
- And I'm learning finishing well is awesome, but the journey is becoming the real reward

So will it be disappointing & a little embarrassing if I have a slower than anticipated time to report from Austin ... heck yeah!  But will I allow it to define me ... heck no!  I'm understanding more and more that all of the miles, all of the mornings in the dark by myself before 6am, all of the little victories and defeats in setting a personal training pace record - or struggling through a workout, are simply about one thing ... the reward found in the journey.  And I'm glad I took this path.
... be great today!